paperlesswords

"I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it…"

paperlesswords:

Sometimes the words you used to say find themselves in the lyrics of songs we’d play when we made love. Now these memories are bittersweet and haunting, making their way into moments when I’m trying to forget you the most. And I almost feel bad for him when he takes credit for the pleasure he thinks he sees in my smile. I could lay in his arms the countless hours of a lifetime reminiscent of your touch, nostalgic for your taste. So long as I am consumed in your memory, I am content with your absence.

By the light of the LED display of a VCR recorder
You kiss my neck, I whisper in your ear, “this is my downfall”
As you squint and you grimace, we both know your heart’s not in it

By the glow of a thousand fireflies in a travelodge en-suite:
They think the future’s bright as halogen, we know it’s pretty bleak
And I’m trying to be sexy, biting at the air that falls in front of me.

Your telegrams are more and more less detailed by the day
And all the characters are strangers and the pubs have different names
I tell a joke that I’d like to meet them but they loathe me and I hate them back

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Fondness makes the absence longer
Length loses my interest, I’m a realist, I’m insatiable
Swapped counting days until I fly, with hours before your reply

You said he got his teeth fixed
I’m gonna break them
I’ve got a heart on fire
He said he’s got his sights set
On getting to you
I’ve got a fist on fire

You feel terrified at the thought of being left behind
Of losing everybody, the necessity of dying
Oh, WE KID OURSELVES THERE’S FUTURE IN THE FUCKING,
BUT THERE IS NO FUCKING FUTURE
I’m just practising my accents, picking at old sutures

I taught myself the only way to vaguely get along in love
Is to like the other slightly less than you get in return
I keep feeling like I’m being undercut

Charlotte says, “It’s more constructive than the one in Canada,
When you got drunk, 
Ate loads of crisps
And threw up by a football pitch”
I know it is, 
And really that’s what worries me,
I feel like I should 
Hurt.

You said he got his teeth fixed
I’m gonna break them
I’ve got a heart on fire
He said he’s got his sights set
On getting to you
I’ve got a fist on fire

I cannot emphasise enough that my body 
Is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel,
Harbouring these diminishing, so-called ‘vital organs’
Hope my heart goes first, 
I HOPE MY HEART GOES FIRST!

And
We are beautiful, 
We are doomed. 

After unknowingly ingesting a mystery amount of the drug Ketamine, i woke up 3 hours later in my flat not knowing how i’d got there or what had happened during the missing time. The following works are based what i can recall of the events leading up to the 3 hours of silence in my memory and my groggy return into the world of consciousness. 

After unknowingly ingesting a mystery amount of the drug Ketamine, i woke up 3 hours later in my flat not knowing how i’d got there or what had happened during the missing time. The following works are based what i can recall of the events leading up to the 3 hours of silence in my memory and my groggy return into the world of consciousness.