elizabethdecent

elizabethdecent:

winabagel:

“there’s no escape. Only a constant reminder”

 

I really miss you

which is idiotic because I never even knew you

everything I thought to be truth concerning us

crumbled

when I examined the dates

but my heart refuses to listen to reason

once again

and breaks

splinters

into hope

regret

I want to slap her

naïve little smile

shout

kick

make her a bloodied mess

that you would never want

the devil the devil the devil in me

the one who won’t smile at strangers

my bad self

that smiles at strangers

the discontent

the bored

the restless

he makes work for idle hands

I get out the old letters

and weep

and I know what will happen

every time

but still I open old wounds

the dark whispering of me

the one that tells me to cut

this is a crimson baptism

washing you clean

my love

to fall from grace

to leap

perchance to dream

of betters things

The fact that its you;

and it makes it so much more soul destroying’

the closest I have to I love you

I love breathing in the smog of you

even now after you’re gone 

that is my darkest truth

I would have followed

the worst

the one that I am most ashamed

(but I think the most easily forgiven)

is that when I said I didn’t want you to destroy your life over this

I was lying

If by doing that meant leaving me behind

I wanted a suicide pact

One of the lines from this ended up in Bukowski Blues, despite the two being about different people, they have similar themes of longing for what you can’t posses and address my darker qualities. I am usually much more revealing in my poems and songs than i am in real life, probably because it’s a lot harder to take things seriously with a constant G Major chord twanging beneath them.

elizabethdecent

elizabethdecent:

Hey kiddas, i kinda let my old Tumblr for edc die and left it to rot, so i’m starting up this new account wish every intention of updating it on a (semi)regular basis!

I’ve kept the url is the same as the old one (to save confusion).

Love to all

~ edc

Hello followers! I have a music project under the name of Elizabeth de Cent, if you wanna keep up with that then please follow my new blog, it’d be really awesome if you checked it out! 

2012 / Paper Boats (part III)

 

- elizabeth de cent

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this truth is I only burnt one of the boats
guess I was still clinging onto hope
i’m just so sick of being sad though

it took a while to start feeling like myself again
to start getting out of bed
thank fuck for my friends

and we don’t go out as much as we did 
back in in 2012
we were waiting for the world to end 
might as well do it have a drink in your hand

and I’m not being melodramatic when I say we’ve been through hell
life was getting so hard and fast, we were living like maniacs

but we survived, all the drama and broken promises
karma and empty threats
the one promise that he kept

we’re still alive
though god there were times
I hoped I wouldn’t make it, through the night

but I’m glad the world didn’t end with december 2012
I know I’ll never see him again and that’s just as well
cause there’s a boy who wants to make me mixtapes
and a summer we can fill with mistakes
i’ve stopped drinking to forget, don’t wanna be that person anymore

i’ve never been as pretty as last January
before i got sad and cut off all my hair 
and I know it’s not healthy to reach for craft scissors those time I’m can’t see past the despair 

but at least i’m not feeling as numb as I was 
back in 2012
we were waiting for the world to end
seemed kinda dumb to be planning ahead

and I’m not over reacting when I say that it’s been hell
life was getting too hard too fast, we were living like maniacs
it’s for the best you weren’t around for that

but we survived ,this fucked us a life
though at the time, it was a hell of a ride

but I’m glad the world didn’t end with december 2012
I know I’ll never see him again and that’s just as well
cause there’s a boy who wants to make me mixtapes
and a summer we can fill with mistakes
i’ve stopped drinking to forget, don’t wanna be that person anymore

we’re not there yet, we’re on the road
and I know I said I’ve gotta do this alone 
I still believe that but I think that I can stop you getting cold

Virginia.

elizabeth de cent.

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https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethdeCent

TWITTER: @elizabethdecent

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A song about what it’s like to live with depression.

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Deep down 

Heavy weight 

On top of me

Spread angels in the sand

Dappled light

Everything I see

Wrinkled fingers

Empty hands

A body 

sinking 

no above no beneath

just weightlessness and water

fill my lungs

sweet relief

Deep down, down to the floor

distant cries

Man overboard 

a recovering fever

About to break

Get up now and you will  

have to fight against the waves

Just keep still, we’ll keep you safe

I wanna stay here forever 

Down Deep 

drowning

In too deep