“there’s no escape. Only a constant reminder”
I really miss you
which is idiotic because I never even knew you
everything I thought to be truth concerning us
crumbled
when I examined the dates
but my heart refuses to listen to reason
once again
and breaks
splinters
into hope
regret
I want to slap her
naïve little smile
shout
kick
make her a bloodied mess
that you would never want
the devil the devil the devil in me
the one who won’t smile at strangers
my bad self
that smiles at strangers
the discontent
the bored
the restless
he makes work for idle hands
I get out the old letters
and weep
and I know what will happen
every time
but still I open old wounds
the dark whispering of me
the one that tells me to cut
this is a crimson baptism
washing you clean
my love
to fall from grace
to leap
perchance to dream
of betters things
‘The fact that its you;
and it makes it so much more soul destroying’
the closest I have to I love you
I love breathing in the smog of you
even now after you’re gone
that is my darkest truth
I would have followed
the worst
the one that I am most ashamed
(but I think the most easily forgiven)
is that when I said I didn’t want you to destroy your life over this
I was lying
If by doing that meant leaving me behind
I wanted a suicide pact
